


I'm What You Might Call a Ten

by bisexualkiseryouta



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Aomine is basically just a cocky weirdo, KNB Secret Santa 2015, M/M, Possibly OOC, Waltzing, Weddings, and Kagami's like no, aokaga - Freeform, fangirl-no-basket, knbss2015, tons of cursing ahhh I'm so sorry for that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-09 01:29:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5520353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualkiseryouta/pseuds/bisexualkiseryouta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aomine doesn’t feel like going to this stupid ballroom dancing class at all, and he definitely doesn’t feel like making it easy on his stupid partner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm What You Might Call a Ten

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fangirl-no-basket](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=fangirl-no-basket).



> Merry Christmas, Nora! I hope you like this, and I'm sorry if it's OOC/kind of short! If you'd like, I'd be happy to write you a continuation/epilogue to this with more of one of your other favorite ships~
> 
> Now, on with the story~!

“Dai-chan, it’s time to go! Hurry _up_!”

Momoi’s voice—which has been rapidly increasing in volume over the span of the last ten minutes—is accompanied by the door to his bedroom rattling violently, the heavy wood threatening to give way under the blows of the aforementioned pink-haired psycho. Aomine grunts out an incoherent dismissal from the comfort of his warm, soft bed and flips onto his stomach, covering his head with a ratty pillow he’s had since elementary school. The banging on his door pauses and he can practically _feel_ Momoi’s anger through the door. At this point, even in his sleepy state, Aomine is 99.9% sure that she’s considering whether murdering him would be worth it. From the sigh that comes about a minute later, he judges that a morning homicide the week before Christmas is _not_ worth it. “Could you please stop being such a child? This day isn’t about _you_ , you know! You’re being a horrible friend to Ki-chan.”

Aomine chokes on a guffaw— _he_ ’s being a bad friend? Kise is making him go to a goddamn _ballroom dancing class_ and _Aomine_ is the bad friend? Granted, it’s because of Kise’s impending wedding to a certain blue-eyed ex-senpai of his, but still.

Okay, so, on second thought, Aomine _might_ be acting like a dick. A little bit. And, sure, Kise _did_ move the class time around just so Aomine wouldn’t have to wake up so early in the morning and agreed to limit the whole ordeal to a single three-hour class instead of three weekends of one hour classes so Aomine wouldn’t lose all of his free time…

 _Damn it._ “Dai-chan—”

“Shut up, Satsuki, I’m getting up. Christ.” Aomine gracelessly rolls out of his bed, landing on his hands and knees on the hardwood floor, cursing under his breath. He grimaces when he hears Momoi squeal happily. “Finally! I thought I was going to have to hold your limited edition Christmas with Mai-chan photobook hostage.” The distaste in his friend’s voice is blatant, but that was a good fucking issue thank you very much. Mai-chan makes a hot Mrs. Clause.

“Whatever.”

The navy-haired man shuffles over to his bedroom door and opens it, wincing as sunlight from the hallway pours into his room, momentarily blinding him. When he regains his sight, his eyes land on one disgusted-looking Momoi. “God, is there a dead animal in your room? That stench could wake the dead.”

“It smells fine.”

“No, it smells like a rotting corpse. Your sense of smell is just ruined from living in this filth for so long. Now, get in the shower before I die from inhaling toxic fumes, okay?” She moves out of his path, making little shooing motions with her hands. Aomine rolls his eyes and stumbles across the hallway, awkwardly stripping as he goes, sniffing his underarms to see what the hell Momoi is complaining about. Nothing. She’s such a baby.

He has a quick, half-assed shower spent listening to Momoi rant about various wedding issues like how the tablecloths clash with the flower arrangements but Kise _insists_ they use jasmine because of what freaking _Wikipedia_ claims it means, so she has to figure out some way to fix the situation so it isn’t an eye sore because God knows Kise’s uber-fashionable sisters would notice and Momoi is _not_ going to be humiliated in front of them. Honestly, the one-sided conversation is riveting. Really, so interesting. Aomine obviously doesn’t zone out at all.

When he emerges from the steamy bathroom, Momoi makes another disgusted face, sniffing the air around him. “Did you put on that horrible body spray that makes flowers die?”

“Yep. I know how much you love it, and, since you’re giving me a ride, I thought I’d do something nice for you.” The shit-eating grin on Aomine’s face is basically calling to Momoi and, if they weren’t already running late, she would slap the expression right off his face. But, no. They’re already way too late for comfort and there’s nothing more shameful than a wedding planner who’s late.

“Oh, Dai-chan, don’t think I won’t get you back for this. I’m gonna make you wish you were never born.” Momoi says with a sugary sweet smile playing on her glossed lips, voice high-pitched and enthusiastic. “Now, get in the car before I throw up.”

♥♥♥

“This sucks.”

Himuro glances over at his honorary brother, lips turned up slightly in a smile. The room is abuzz with their friends and old teammates, all milling about as they wait for the dance instructor and Momoi to arrive; it’s nice, having everyone in one place. Murasakibara is over by a small food-laden table that’s been set up especially for him so he doesn’t raid the vending machines in the hallway or try to eat Kuroko, again. “It’s not all that bad, Taiga. You might even end up having fun.”

Kagami gives him an incredulous look with his split eyebrows almost disappearing under his hair. “Fun? We’re learning to dance the _waltz_.”

Himuro shrugs. “You never know, man.”

“I second that opinion, Kagami-kun.”

The redhead jumps, banging his head on the wall he’s been awkwardly leaning against since he arrived and letting out a slew of curses that would make a nun cry. “Kuroko! What the hell! Where the hell did you come from?” The shorter man looks up at him from where he had apparently been standing beside Kagami, amusement glimmering in his cerulean eyes. “I have been here the whole time, Kagami-kun.”

“Bullshit! I call bullshit!”

“You should not use such foul language. It’s unbecoming.” The powder blue-haired male doesn’t try to hide the slight smirk on his face. _Little bastard._ “You are correct, though. I only escaped from Kise a few minutes ago and I came over to greet you two. Hello, by the way, Himuro-kun.”

“Nice to see you, Kuroko.” Himuro smiles at the new addition to their conversation, glancing over to the food table to check on Murasakibara like a slightly concerned parent. Apparently, he sees something not quite right with the purple-haired man attempting to shove half a cake down his own throat and excuses himself with a wave to Kagami and a nod to Kuroko. “Atsushi, cut it up first at least.”

Kagami turns away from the sight of his brother babying his boyfriend only to find his best friend watching him with an expression that does not bode well for Kagami. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“…Do you know who your dance partner will be, Kagami-kun?”

A frown forms on the tanned male’s face as he contemplates the question; Momoi never explicitly told him who he would be dancing with, but he assumed that it would be Kuroko or maybe even Momoi herself. The wedding planner claimed that she would try to pair up people based on their compatibility since they would be seated right beside each other for the whole event besides having to dance together at the reception, so Kuroko made the most sense for him.

Or, so Kagami thought.

“Um, nah. Do you?”

Kuroko raises his eyebrows as if Kagami asked a completely ridiculous question. “Of course. I’m dancing with Momoi-san.”

_The fuck? Then who…?_

At that moment, the doors to the ballroom are thrown open and the wedding planner marches in with a severe-looking woman with her hair in a high ponytail and a disheveled Aomine on her heels. _If there is a God, I’m not gonna end up with him._

Momoi stops in the front of the room, smiling brightly, exuding that weird aura of happiness and intimidation that freaks Kagami out a little bit. “Sorry for the delay, guys! Let’s get right to everything then; please get with your partners.”

Aomine cranes his neck, looking out at the crowd of familiar faces, and Kagami swears his soul leaves him when that pair of navy eyes meet his and a devious smile spreads across the asshole’s face. _Please let me die. Right now. Kill me._ The redhead turns to where Kuroko is standing to beg his friend to put him out of his misery, but the damn jerk has disappeared, probably going to dance with Momoi and throw him to the wolves. _I’m gonna get him back for this._

“Oi, Bakagami, this is your lucky day, so be grateful.” The narcissistic basketball idiot meanders over to him with his hands in the pockets of his jacket, smile as massive as his ego. “You get the privilege of dancing with the one and only me.”

_You’re dead, Kuroko._

♥♥♥

“I’m gonna lead, asshole.”

“Yeah, right. I’m leading.”

Kagami steps forward with his left foot once more, growling when Aomine steps on his other foot. “Just give up, stupid. We all know who the dominant one in this relationship is.”

“The fuck did you just say?”

“I said I’m the fucking top, bro.”

“Bullshit, and why the hell are you making this sexual, jerk off? There’s no way in _hell_ that I’d have sex with _you_.”

“More like there’s no way I’d have sex with _you_. I’m what you might call a ten.”

“Yeah, on a scale of one to a million.”

“Pssh, sounds like you’re talking about yourself, _Bakagami_.”

“Sounds like you can’t come up with an insult of your own, _Ahomine_ —ow! Fuck!”

Kagami sends a betrayed look to Kuroko, who shows no remorse at jabbing him in the side as he dances past them, Momoi giggling at their incessant bickering. Apparently, to everyone else, their being paired up is _hilarious_. The only person who’s been supportive in the least is Hyuuga, and that’s because he’s stuck with Kiyoshi, who dances like the big oaf he is. “Yo, how ’bout you just give up and let me lead, man? It’s inevitable.”

“Shut the fuck up, it is _not_.”

“Is too.”

“Are you a five-year-old? Oh, wait, why am I even asking, of course you are.”

“Then I’m the hottest five-year-old to ever live.”

“You’re _disgusting_. Although, I’m not surprised, since you smell like _garbage_.”

“No, I just smell manly, although I understand why you wouldn’t realize that considering you’re a little girl.”

“Fuck you.”

“You wish.”

Kagami groans, palm slamming into his forehead because _God could he just stop already?_ For the past hour and a half, Kagami has been dealing with this shit and they’ve made literally no progress with their dancing and Momoi said if they don’t learn the dance perfectly by the end of the class, they have to stay for another hour, and Kagami has plans. Yeah, so, those plans are sitting on the couch and drinking his weight in hot chocolate, but he still doesn’t want to have to stay late because of this _loser_.

He can’t just give up and give Aomine what he wants, though—this has become a matter of pride, and no way is Kagami going to be emasculated by this dick. There’s also no way to settle this with basketball because Momoi said if they leave the ballroom, she will murder them, and at this point Kagami is pretty convinced she was serious about that. So, he’s fucked.

“Tell you what, dumbass, I’ll make you a deal.” Aomine’s voice pulls Kagami back to reality after he started zoning out and contemplating whether being murdered  by Momoi would be worth it or not. “I’ll let you lead because you’re fucking heavy and you keep stepping on my feet because you suck, _if_ ” Kagami braces himself. “You buy me a drink after this. And not just a beer, like some high quality shit.”

“You… want me to buy you a drink?”

“Yeah. After dancing with you for three hours, I’m gonna need one. Plus,” At this point, Aomine’s eyes darken with something that makes Kagami feel hot all over and kind of pissed off. “Then, maybe we can see who the real top is.”

Despite the way his cheeks turn bright red, Kagami makes a noise of disgust at the suggestion. “In your dreams.”

“Is that an offer?”

“…I fucking hate you.”

 


End file.
